Thursday, March 14, 2013

New Pantheon

#NewPantheon - The First Two Days

On March 13, 2013, author Steven Brust (@SteveBrust) began a new movement with the following tweet:

"In honor of the Pope, it's time for a new religion. Here is my first entry:
Scandasota: God of passive-aggressive behavior. #newpantheon"

The tweets that followed came fast and furious, and the New Pantheon has exploded to nearly 120 deities in less than two days. Now, for the first time,the entire pantheon (to date) has been gathered into one spot. Search for the #newpantheon hashtag to keep up with the latest list.


Adobeus: God of annoying software updates

Agora: Agora, God Of Recursive Acronyms

Agricola Puellam-Amat, the god of first semester Latin

Ahglit, God of common things no one remembers the name of

Anthropomorpheus, god of the talking bear

Anthropomorphic Personification, the god of gratuitous verbosity

Awesomezorz, god of ROCKET LASER DINOSAURS

Azif: God of sarcasm

Bayleout, god of wall street

Bestguess: God of airline departure and arrival times

Bloody Mary, Goddess of morning cocktails (admittedly stolen from Archer)

Bluesmell, god of synaesthesia

Brainsneeze, god of disappointing orgasms

Bubblios, the god of milking venture capital for party money

Bureaucratus: God of the DMV

Chedarus, God of Cheese

Crimea: River, God (morose)

Diurnalspeech, the god of wishing you could be like John Scalzi so not being able to stop throwing spitballs at him in class

DubStep, god of wub

EasyToReadius: God of intercapitalization

Ephemeres, the god of deicide

epi: God of irrational number

Not to be confused with Epeen, god of irrational ego

Essspin: God of making money off of other people's athletic activity.

Fireflius: Goddess of TV shows killed before their time

Fokin-Skwrl: Goddess of Misplaced Persistence and Running Jokes

Foldimus: God of the busted flush

Forfendis doesn't care what your beliefs are, they are wrong. Repent.

Frank: god of people named Frank. #theresagodforthat

Fryicus, god of kickstarters

Furst: the holy spirit of those who speak before anyone else on Internet

Gargleflab- god of hangovers, regret, & cotton mouth

Geedubs: God of stealing and devouring things no one thought were edible

Gladys, the Goddess of Parking Spaces

Godhead, the god of synecdoche

Greader, god of the premature destruction of still-useful software

Gridlock: God of Governmental Inefficiency

Gridlock, cruel god of inner-city traffic

Grimsexy, the god of cyberpunk dystopias

Guliblotok: God of the easily decived. Not really a god, but some believe in him anyway.

Haertutortuz, God of people who speed up to pass you then slow down

Hashtagi: goddess of social media, graffiti, and the 20th of April

Heeshee: God/Goddess of gender neutral pronouns

Higher-Being-With-A-Self-Descriptive-Name-Designed-To-Not-Be-Offensive, God of Political Correctness

Hipsteronius: God of stuff too cool for you to understand

Hopesquick, the goddess of online dating

Hugger: for people who are forever alone #HasAHugeFollowing

Hyperbolus, BEST GOD EVER -- EVER!

iGodname<escape><escape>: God of vi

Imagod, deity of self-proclamation

Ironicus: The god of all atheists

Iscargo, God of merchant marines and strange food choices

Ism, God of Political Correctness

Justificanius: God of excuses

K: God of conversation killers

Kehk, The Starter With Five Faces (god of crowdfunding)

Kent Blivet, the Immortal Idol of Incredulous Interjections

Lalala, goddess of those who do not back up their data

Lisaberg: Goddess of grammatical pickiness

Lorraine: Goddess of all things fabulous

Ly: Goddess of Adverbs

Lye-Kra: god of middle aged cyclists

Lynnetruss, Patroness of Punctuation Pedantry

Mechawaii, the goddess of spunky Japanese schoolgirls who pilot giant military robots

Mememe: capricious, impossible to monetize goddess of things which go viral

Menageamonster, goddess of paranormal romance

Minas Bigar, god of penis wars

Misherd: Goddess of homonyms

Noteventrying, God of airline prices

Oblivia: goddess of people who walk or drive and play with their smartphone

Onomatopeus: Not actually a god, but sounds like one

Onyonia, goddess of ****ing good food smells that distract me from getting work done

Oontzoontz, the god of raves

Peebeear n'Baykan: God of hipsters

Pidei: God of Irrelevant Geek Celebrations

Pittha, goddess of physically impossible things that happen anyway, such as self-tangling stereo wires

Pixel: God of very small dots and Texas dogs

Polyadora: Goddess of Non-Monagamous Relationships

Positive Ideation Focus Figure, the god of political correctness

Press-On God of perserverance & fake nails

Procrain: god of laziness, and etc.

Raaarghwaah, the god of fake-nerd-girl rage

Raymondeer: God of disappointing book sales

Regex, god of smug awareness that you can do things more efficiently than most

Saint Brain Bleachia, who miraculously unsaw the heretical and obscene temptations of dreaded Baron Trente-Quatre

Self-insert (Godname): God of emacs

Sellowt: god of bands that you were into like last year before they went all fm radio mainstream and started sucking

Sermochorus, the god of DARE programs populated entirely by the kids who'd never touch drugs in a million years anyway

Skizzix: god of gross statistical improbability

Steptoo: god of monetization and vague, hand-wavy plans for profit

Taremyhareot: God of long-distance romance

Tautologosh, God of All Who Worship Tautologosh

The god Tautology who is a god! His first commandment is the commandment that is first.

Tealdeerhackenslash, the god of editors

Ted: God of intriguing yet ultimately vacuous things technocratic liberals like, and also of people named Ted

Tellusalie: Goddess of Politicians, Priests and Television News Anchors

Temple, the god of metonymy

Theravtorus, God of conspiracy theorists

Thompsonellis, the god of addiction to hypothetical drugs

Thrinticker: god/goddess of transient erotic obsessions

Thyngumjeg, god of, you know, wassit, forgetfulness, something like that...

Tomorrius: God of procrastination

Trendius: God of what's currently cool. Look it up on the Tumblr.

Twitterus = God of the Lost Hours

Ugo: God of praise, encouragement, and unwelcome house guests

UisgeBella: the god of it's time to stop typing

Upyose, God of Unspoken Replies to Authorities

Wasanme, god of passing the blame

Wasdove: Goddess of irregular verbs

Wavikal: God of Particle Physics

Whiskeylung, the god of writers

Wikilrie: Knowledge maidens and choosers of procrastination, delivering information to those who should be working

Writersquee: God of getting cover quotes from favorite writers

Xena: Goddess of sex-positive feminism

Your Mom: Goddess of sick burns

Zod, god of genuflection

<god name="Taggus">

$DEITY, god of shell scripting.

ʤ, the god of things nobody knows how to pronounce

And of course, we must not forget:

Brust, God of Procrastinating Authors

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